I’ll be honest… I’m in a state of misalignment.

I am at the tail end of one of the busiest months for me with more being added to my plate daily and not enough able to be delegated out.

Both boys birthdays, a whole week of Holy day celebrations, feasts, and pressing into our Creator, finals for my class, monthly commitments for business, meetings, research, projects, clients, talking with new prospective clients and customers, family/home stuff, dealing with heavy extended family stuff, and, ya know, the whole world and all of its issues going on right now and the promises of what’s to come.

Did you notice something that is missing from all of that?

My self-care.

Nowhere did I put a nod to my personal “ME” stuff.

I caught onto something today.

Typically, women are the peacekeepers in their homes; the ones to make sure everything is running smoothly, everyone is getting nourished and everything nurtured, while attempting to wear all the hats, manage everything and everyone and not be a freak in the process.

There is a level where it sometimes can feel like Toxic Positivity. It stems from me KNOWING how much my behavior/attitude/etc. can affect the WHOLE house and environment within.

In an effort to soothe wounds and balance emotions for everyone else, I am often the one left stuffing everything down in an attempt to help the household thrive.

Truth is, we all do this a lot. Whether in the home, at work, in ministry, among friends, etc.

We all know the ramifications of “unleashing.” We see the people and cringe who display little to no emotional regulatory control or maturity and we don’t want to be anything like THAT or create that damage in our loved ones and those around us.

However, there HAS to be a balance.

I can’t expect anyone to care about my daily baggage, ya know, that stuff that piles on daily just from getting up each morning - and honestly, I don’t expect anyone to. After all, I am the coach, “healer” (one who helps facilitate healing), the listener, the encourager, the motivator… Yet it’s not something I can do for myself. Rarely, to be more accurate.

As an Empath (someone who can literally take on other’s energy, feel what they feel, sometimes even hearing their thoughts - scripturally it is defined as the Gifts of Knowledge and Discernment) I find myself even more out of sorts if I’m not careful and intentional about clearing out that baggage each day.

Well… in super busy times like these (and I don’t mean busy-work “busy”, but legit there-is-not-enough-hours-in-my-day-to-do-all-I-need-to-do busy) the minutes in my day are packed and I get by on only the basics I need to function each day. Shorter showers, quicker (normally drinkable) meals, and so on. I always keep my family first, but work/school fills the rest. Where am I in that? Who tends to me and makes sure I am functioning?

I’m not saying my family isn’t there for me, but ya know, they aren’t the ones to be concerned with “How is mom feeling today?” or “I wonder if my wife is feeling overloaded today and could use a break…” My emotions and inner well-being just aren’t a concern for others, and I truly don’t expect it to be.

However, who takes care of me?

Well… Me.

I HAVE to make myself a priority because who else will?

Who else can better assess when I am feeling off, drained, depleted, foggy…?

Who else is supposed to keep track of how much water I’ve been drinking or if I’m taking regular breaks from my computer work to stretch and step away for a bit to give a semblance of being an active functioning human being?

Me.

And for you… it’s you.

I know. ANOTHER thing to add to your already overflowing plate, right?!

And that’s EXACTLY why we push ourselves back, time and time again, until we reach the point we cannot continue ignoring ourselves any longer.

The truth is, and you and I both know this, that in order to actually better care for others and do more successfully, we HAVE to pull back, often, daily even, to make sure our insides are as clean as we try to be on the outside.

It’s vital to celebrate the small wins each week, especially as a work-from-home momprenuer. There really isn’t anyone else who knows or can celebrate those small wins like we can anyway.

It’s vital to pause, reflect, then adjust as needed, getting as filled, refreshed, and nourished as we try to get others to do.

Tonight starts my weekly Sabbath where I commit to doing no work, to pull back and realign, making sure any depleted parts are nourished.

I will let go of any guilt at the messages I wasn’t able to get back to, the tasks still unchecked on my To-Do lists, the incomplete projects, and everything else I would use to beat myself up about, take a full 24 hours off doing what nourishes my soul, then pick right back up where I left off on Sunday morning.

The world isn’t going to implode if I take a breath for ONE day.

It won’t for you either. I promise.

If I don’t take this small time off for myself, I know I will have crashed-and-burned by my oldest son’s birthday (the second and final of the month) and I will totally let down my clients.

In order to fully be “there” for others, like I truly want to be, I MUST carve out this time for myself.

It isn’t selfish.

YOU are NOT selfish for taking a breath for ONE day, turning off all social media, taking a Staycation, or staying in pjs in bed all day!

Truth.

Now, I want to hear YOUR thoughts. Is this a challenge for you to take time out consistently to nourish yourself? If so, why do you think that is?

Any tips? Advice? Drop them in the comments below.

Until next time,

~ Crystal